and everyday i think more and more
about the woman i want to become
twisting and reeling
into perfect position

You can’t love someone then
the next day
see them with someone else
okay.

I need more time
I need a cigarette and a long lonely walk into unforeseen night.

The cat cries
And the neighbors don’t exist
Nothing but the blankets on my fingertips
Twist around my weak wrists

A stab in my gut
then eyes swell shut
because I’m falling through the ocean
Ten thousand needles jab
at once good memories
across my skin
Indistinguished bugs land
and I itch the curse
of you not being here
to hold my trembling body

The cat cries
And so do I
But one will not go to the other

I’m still here
Confusing and abusing myself to solve this

Unpleasant shaking in the office
Not because I have no jacket
Trips to my nearest outlet
For minor fits of sadness

I’m too weak to cry to you on the phone
To go to work, too sick to be left alone
I’m burning my eyes with acidic tears till I’m dry
The reservoir moderately refills another time

I’m jealous of the couples in bliss
Jealous of your new girl
Catching everything that I miss
Like that 12 hours in-between her and my kiss

And I’m still here
Sinking and not sleeping and holding my chest

Holding my stomach hostage and twisting the knife
Like I’m juicing a lemon

alex was a friend
less we no longer spoke
of that date by the lake
my legs ache in new york
i sang Lennon until coarse
to cheer him
because when alex is sad
the world turns to cinder
i was stoned in a cabin
a cereal bowl of winter
and bum wyne kisses
for new year
ice cream in a graveyard
an unorthodox way that
x marks the spot on my
heart for the gun range

and i got bored again
writing sad love poems
twisting the cigarette
and singeing my thumb

Your home becomes a public space when you open up the shades. Suddenly, you are in the television set. Welcome to Facebook, we’re glad to have your unabridged participation and addiction. No signature necessary, just click the box. There, doesn’t that feel better.

shhh

It’ll all be okay

rest
now

I read and my apartment turns into the transparent sun ship
I read and from my book flows the voices of Ginsberg and Wells
We’re friends, i just wish they knew it too.

A writer writes with small delights but MS Word’s not for me.

I’ll run away again
I’ll run like these streets were meant for woe
And your personal gestapo wont find me
I’ll ally every street and
Write my name backwards on every wall
Because I don’t want to be found
Except by those who know to look

I don’t want to flirt with the phone
But I’ve got that microphone
Tape recorder
Trapped like a politician’s wrist
On me

I figure i’ll be fine in time
But I’m really confused
Cuffed like a toddler with thirst
Lost and lewd

Patience can’t contain your name,
it spills out on the streets so holy.
There are no secrets on walls,
colored glory.
Pass the message
on
till
morning.

All of the flowers in my lungs
are coming back to life.
Would you believe…
that a mug of spiced tea
and a song of dealing with fear
would make everything feel better

And I’d rather be inside
than trapped somewhere out there,
thinking about every other time
when something went wrong.