TV Live

We live life as HD movies. Waking life is like the movies because we play back memories like we’re tuning into a mind television screen… it’s our viewing center. And that is why life must be the movies because it can have the cheesiest type of plots, the same recurring cast members and every time something happens, or I think about old happenings, I see that every camera angle is a perfect camera angle for a movie. And I must be the main character, because only the audience can hear the voice in my head. There’s an intro and a back story, there is character development and action and drama. We revisit the same classic jokes.


And every shot is the perfect shot and we’d work everything out in the end. 

Lot to Lose

You’ve got an awful lot to lose

We’ve been gaining all our losses

Drowning in the music

And our minds to unclean causes


All the quarters in my pockets
Make up June


If you want something, take it

And the bottoms of our shoes

Let them burn if we waste this

Just let your thoughts float

To the sea of our basement

Far back home


That life wasn’t meant for us

Why should we even bother?

And I’ll lie still on this floor

As if it were my graveyard

Wondering why no one ever told me

I had any other option


We were waiting for someone to tell us

That the bad things wouldn’t happen

And how could you believe

That good things never happen?

Weren’t you the one who told me

“The good life’s gonna happen,

for us”


And it’s all fine
Just fine 
Lying in the graveyard with you

Further Friends

Chemicals rush and flow recklessly through our brains.

Tell me all the rules.
And I’ll tell you all the reasons I live like I do.

Every Whatever-the-Hell I See

These are my stories and my thoughts and the what-elses and the whatever-the-hells that may feather into my girl brains.


This is my narrow type grace. This is my ineloquence with a keyboard and computer screen. This is all the sorrow in my fingertips… the fear and hesitation in my hands. This is all the love and joy in my skin.


These are my words, they all look the same. 

These stories roll


From my palms

And everything

I‘ll never know

Or regret

Later


Steps on the screen

Its everything
I’ll ever know

Or never tell you

At all

Stumbling Out Across the Green Landing

The madness is haunting

His shadow is demoralizing

On these streets

Built by our parents
And all the curves 
Of a descent into madness

Fill him with weak hope

What is this… beautiful madness? 
He’ll race down these streets and woe
Try to live slowly
We slink by… tired and lowly

He’s lives oh so lowly with the electric rich sensations of chemical music

Radar

He saw my ghost

Floating around my shadow’s ghost
And he spoke shadow deep
Messages I couldn’t hear
Nor ever learn to speak

Bow

Lies cover my lips and hijack my face
Maybe it’s bad but I love the taste

Rememorizing

You will never feel this way again

That’s what they said, That’s what they said

And you will never understand

We forget more than we know

The image is in your brain. Multiple layers of images are at play but don’t forget the other senses/ thoughts /feelings that makeup a moment. Can you simulate them verbatim? Can you find the memory of any day you’ve ever lived as if you were living it in this moment? And any dream you’ve ever had in your entire life? Whatever you thought/ felt/ saw/ underthought/ sensed/ intended/ acted/ were? Why not? You have lived so many days. These days. Do you remember childhood and the incredible imagination and play you once had? On any given day….or moment? Reality is a dream. Old memories collect dust in invisible file cabinets you’re unaware exist. Dreamlike, you’ll wake and may know for a fraction of a moment… then lose everything.

Never mind the idea.
Do what you do and focus on tomorrow.

Build your to-do-lists.

Check your email and get your rest.

It’s okay. Don’t think about it.

I did not mean to bring it up.

It’s okay.

It does not have to be real.

Let go.

Oh, and if you’re looking for me.

I’ll be playing in the yesterdays. 

Reasons Why I’m Not a Houseplant:

  1. Dirt

  2. I’d get so mad if someone forgot to water me

  3. Green is a nice color but it is not my favorite color

  4. The possibility of strange microbe creatures eating me

  5. Being shoved in some corner seems unpleasant

  6. Not being able to choose my own pot to live in

  7. Insufferable boredom
  8. Fear of becoming a plaything for house-pets